neverwhere

zeteticat:

I came across this gem yesterday, in which the author says, yes, men behave badly, but really, isn’t it the women involved that are at least half to blame? Aren’t we missing the point, she posits, that without evil temptresses these men would behave as the little angels their true selves wish to be? 

Some observers have offered a “boys will be boys” explanation, suggesting that cheating is just something men have always done. It’s true that many of these men seem to think sexual improprieties are part of their job description — and as political leaders they have no shortage of opportunities to act on their desires.

Still, we’ve been much too quick to ignore the role that women — and modern feminism — have played in setting the stage for many of these infidelities … for every disloyal and lewd male lawmaker, there’s a woman (or two, or three, or more) who is all too willing to enable his behavior.

Enable? Oh! “Boys will be boys” because women enable it! Apparently, ladies, you really shouldn’t be on twitter or have email accounts; some dude could send you inappropriate pictures & you’d be enabling such behavior. Ergo, it’s totally your fault. After all, if you stayed in your appropriate domestic sphere, you wouldn’t be so crass as to use the internet at all, and then, these men would be cured of their evil ways by the absence of an outlet. That makes so much sense.

But wait, it’s feminism’s fault! Fighting for equality of the sexes is the culprit of these wily enablers: 

More important, more and more men — and women — have forgotten what a healthy relationship (let alone marriage) looks like. For decades, modern feminists have undermined the idea of marriage,

We have? You mean, undermined the idea of marriage with traditional gender roles, and the idea that women should stay in abusive or otherwise bad marriages? You mean the idea that women don’t have any real options other than to marry whatever comes along & stay with that no matter what? Why yes. Yes we have. But the idea of marriage in general, as an equal partnership through life? Um, no. Not so much. You’re confusing us with the GOP.

discouraged romance and courtship, encouraged a laissez-faire sexual culture,

Ohhh right, the “no romance” and “loose morals” definition of feminism. The whole Egads! Women are acting like romanceless undiscriminating sexual beings, like men! How crass! twist.

No, feminism is not encouraging women to denounce romance and embrace casual sex; rather, it is encouraging society not to reward men and punish women for the same behavior but instead to regard such behavior as people’s personal choices. Feminism fights the double-standard. Women are no worse than men for engaging in said behavior. How is this concept difficult, again?

and done everything in their power to eliminate gender roles.

Um, yes. And?

Add to this the academic and professional opportunities available to women today,

Oh NO! Not academic and professional opportunities for women! Where is this world going? 

and the access to affordable birth control,

Such a terrible thing, reproductive health and autonomy. 

and it’s clear that it’s much easier for women to participate in our “no strings attached” sexual culture than ever before. But this freedom, which has benefitted women so much, doesn’t come without consequences — namely, that it has allowed so many women to think it’s permissible to have an affair with a married man.

Anyone knowingly pursuing a relationship with a married or otherwise committed (in a relationship, not a mental institution, to clarify, although…) person is not exactly acting at the height of morality, but isn’t it the person that’s actually in the committed relationship that’s mostly to blame there? 

But wait! An Adam Sandler movie has a ridiculous premise in which a dude poses as a married man to get dates! AND he gets dates! In a scripted movie! It’s like art imitating life! Solid societal evidence of her argument! After all, Adam Sandler is a renowned sociologist and the movie industry in general is known for it’s accurate portrayals of society in a non-stereotypical way. 

Clearly, this lady knows what she’s talking about. 

Oh, and then there was this bit in the Huffington Post about how Weiner’s wife should have known better than to marry a hot man, because hot men, especially hot rich men, as a rule, don’t make good husbands.

A) Anthony Weiner is hot? Really? 

B) My eyes rolled too far back into my head to bother countering this one. Have fun laughing at the absurdity on your own.